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Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 13 minutes 53 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
Epic(1)
8 18
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 14 minutes 16 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
Epic(2)
8 12
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 25 minutes 55 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
Epic(2)
5 11
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 27 minutes 9 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
Epic(1)
13 9
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 28 minutes 54 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
Epic(1)
5 11
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 29 minutes 13 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
Epic(1)
4 13
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 29 minutes 25 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
Epic(1)
4 12
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 31 minutes 41 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
Epic(1)
4 14
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 33 minutes 46 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
Epic(2)
9 7
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 35 minutes 32 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
Epic(1)
5 9
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 35 minutes 40 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
Epic(1)
13 2
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 36 minutes 38 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
Epic(1)
5 9
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 37 minutes 8 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
Epic(1)
6 9
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 39 minutes 42 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
Epic(1)
6 7
Posted 3 months 27 days 21 hours 41 minutes 24 seconds ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
Epic(1)
5 7