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Posted 2014-10-23T01:38:41+02:00
How many bad decisions are you gonna make until I become one?

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:35:02+02:00
In my defense your honor, he said prolly.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:32:43+02:00
The world is full of nice guys who want naughty girls who want bad boys who want nice girls who want nice guys.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:29:46+02:00
First the mixed tapes disappear and now it seems women don't appreciate dick pics. It's like we have no more romantic weapons left.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:28:41+02:00
It's only gambling if you're losing.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:28:13+02:00
To find your prince you need to kiss a few frogs not sleep with the whole pond.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:23:05+02:00
Can't stop drinking about you

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:21:15+02:00
When prostitutes go on strike they really don't give a fuck.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-23T01:20:57+02:00
Never, ever ask a woman if she's pregnant unless you see an actual baby being born. Even then, act surprised.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-22T23:35:05+02:00
I want to wear the scariest costume I can think of to work for Halloween this year, so I'm going as a pregnancy test.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-22T23:05:34+02:00
I feel like there's something missing in my life and I don't know if it's a person, a puppy, or just a burrito.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-22T19:38:34+02:00
The year is 2089. Toasters are made clear now and no one burns toast or bagels. Crime is at 0%

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

And then you woke up.

Posted 2014-10-22T19:12:58+02:00
You can stop trying to drive me crazy. I'm honestly close enough to walk to it from here.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-22T19:10:56+02:00
Pocketwatches were replaced by wristwatches, which became digitalwatches, which were replaced by mobile phones. Which we keep in our pockets

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Smart watches were created they did not evolve. And 3........2..........1.........

Comment by Anonymous

You left out the whole smart watch evolution

Posted 2014-10-22T02:05:47+02:00
I peed so hard that a little laugh came out

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T23:12:39+02:00
The difference between cheating on your wife and cheating on your taxes is if you tell the truth, the IRS still wants to fuck you.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-10-21T22:37:43+02:00
I'm just a Stupid looking for my I'm With

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

No, you're just a stupid dip shit who doesn't make any fucking sense.

Posted 2014-10-21T22:34:27+02:00
I just flew in from Detroit, and Boy my palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms are heavy

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

2002 called, they think you're a twat

Posted 2014-10-21T22:32:24+02:00
I'm trying to kick dairy and now I've got the milk shakes

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Don't have a cow, man

Posted 2014-10-21T22:26:43+02:00
Peeta and Katniss have the potential for the most inappropriate celebrity couple nickname ever.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Stewie71

that is awesome!

Comment by Anonymous

titles? Katta is a real word in another language. Maybe if you sucked less cocks in school you could have learned how to spell and think. And if you really thought I missed the obvious I guess you are about as smart as the average poster on here, picklesmoocher.

Comment by Anonymous

Peeniss you titles asshat


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