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Posted 2015-08-29T03:04:25+02:00
Don't worry about the grass on the other side. It's not your grass.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-08-29T03:04:10+02:00
Politics is just unhappy people shouting at each other.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-29T03:03:37+02:00
Sometimes I feel like a semicolon. I don't know where I belong.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-29T03:02:21+02:00
Damn, girl, are you Terms and Conditions? Because I just want to blindly agree to whatever you say.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-29T02:59:22+02:00
John Jacob Jingleheimer Schmidt was shot dead by police in downtown Los Angeles, today. He was wanted for multiple counts of identity theft.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-29T02:54:36+02:00
In the jungle, the mighty jungle, the lion is like what the hell am i doing here I'm a savanna animal

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-29T02:50:22+02:00
Palin interviewing Trump tonight? At least he can tell her where Russia is since that's where he orders his wives from

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

You're a fucking idiot!!!

Posted 2015-08-29T02:49:21+02:00
No thanks, public transportation. If I'm going to catch an STD, I'm catching it the old fashioned way.

-1(0)
Posted by Biggsswayze 2015-08-28T19:28:16+02:00
Some girls post the most depressing love shit that even I'm starting to miss their ex!!!

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-27T00:31:19+02:00
People say 'hate' is such a strong word, yet they throw around 'love' like it's nothing

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:38:10+02:00
Plot twist: He only puts in the tip as promised.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:34:29+02:00
I can't remember who I was or how my life became such a mess either, so I get it, Jason Bourne, I get it.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:25:28+02:00
When you're married, the "Walk of Shame" is shuffling to the hall closet with your pants around your ankles to get more toilet paper.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:22:40+02:00
The stock market dropping sets back my retirement plans another 100 years

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Can't act like an adult can you? ⤵

Comment by Anonymous

Only if you were stupid and sold when it was down.

Posted 2015-08-25T06:18:30+02:00
In the future, time on earth will be marked off by Spider-Man reboots, Transformer sequels, and Comedy Central Roasts.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:14:40+02:00
I'm really sick of underwear and responsibility

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:02:44+02:00
It's not a real relationship until their zip code is in your Weather Channel app.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-08-25T06:00:58+02:00
Netflix should offer a big-spinning-wheel to help couples choose a movie to watch.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

For real ! That's a great idea !!!

Posted 2015-08-25T05:51:37+02:00
I like to fuck it up for all the other parents by letting my kids do the exact thing they are yelling at their kids to stop doing.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-08-25T05:51:30+02:00
So who the fuck ever buys the middle grade of gasoline?

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Many more than buy the high grade. Your desperate attempt at humor is pathetic and downright stupid.

Comment by Anonymous

It is a must for some motorcycles

Comment by Anonymous

I do. Betterbfir the car and helps keep the tank clean and get better mpgs


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