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Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 32 minutes 2 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
Epic(1)
8 13
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 32 minutes 25 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
Epic(2)
7 10
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 44 minutes 4 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
Epic(2)
4 9
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 45 minutes 18 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
Epic(1)
12 8
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 47 minutes 3 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
Epic(1)
4 9
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 47 minutes 22 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
Epic(1)
4 10
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 47 minutes 34 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
Epic(1)
4 10
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 49 minutes 50 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
Epic(1)
4 12
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 51 minutes 55 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
Epic(2)
9 5
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 53 minutes 41 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
Epic(1)
5 7
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 53 minutes 49 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
Epic(1)
11 2
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 54 minutes 47 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
Epic(1)
4 7
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 55 minutes 17 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
Epic(1)
5 6
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 57 minutes 51 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
Epic(1)
5 5
Posted 3 months 2 days 15 hours 59 minutes 33 seconds ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
Epic(1)
4 4