Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer just read some of your Tumblr's and she wants her billion dollars back.
Somewhere in America, the 2040 President of the United States just took a selfie.
Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand.
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.
"Okay class, today we are going to play a game. When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a colour, you run to the left side of the court. Got it?"
"Okay... Ready, set... ORANGE!"
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!
Look, it's not you.... Its DiGiorno
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was "reduced fat" so basically it was like going to the gym.
I'm in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.
Mosquitoes: giving you a reason to slap people in the face since the start of mankind.
Didn't wake up in a new Bugatti. Tomorrows a new day though. Never lose faith. Never give up.
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me.
Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.
Every time you hear a Pitbull song, you lose 2 days off your life expectancy.
Be more spontaneous, combust.
I've been waiting to say "Xbox, Show Fantasy" my entire life, but fantasy sports wasn't what I had in mind.
This world is not going to make any progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."
This XBox One demo should also explain how to best quit your job, break up with your girlfriend and heal bedsores.
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