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Posted 2014-09-19T15:03:14+02:00
Pardon my expresso Starbucks but $5.26 is an awful latte money for a cup of coffee.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

There is no X in espresso!

Comment by Anonymous

Put a lid on it.

Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner.

Comment by Anonymous

...just awful.

Posted 2014-09-16T03:44:03+02:00
Love is like a rubber band, we keep pulling, someone let's it go, and it hurts the one who held on

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:41:48+02:00
I realized I eat too much fast food so I decided I would start cooking for myself. Does anyone here know how to "mcnugget" a chicken?

Funny(4)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:39:03+02:00
The Send All function should require another person to key in a code like you would for a nuclear launch

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:37:03+02:00
I wonder what "don't touch" is in Braille.

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-09-16T03:26:38+02:00
Imagine hating your life so much you write a YouTube comment.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-09-16T01:16:53+02:00
I just used the self checkout in Walmart without needing assistance and they made me district manager.

Epic(2)
Posted 2014-09-16T01:00:00+02:00
I've tried several times, but I can't pet a cat without plotting world domination.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T23:22:08+02:00
I've finally worked up the courage to tell you how I feel: I feel hungry.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-15T23:19:57+02:00
Single white sock seeks same

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T23:11:42+02:00
Not only do I believe cannabis should be legalized, it should also be forcibly administered to Congress.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T02:27:20+02:00
If she shaves it and you aint gettin it. Someone else is...

Get a Life(3)
Comment by Anonymous

Thumbs down must be the people that aren't gettin it.

Posted 2014-09-15T02:26:29+02:00
I have the ability to get a song stuck in anyone's head and I don't wanna wait, for our lives to be over.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T02:19:03+02:00
The people naming dinosaurs should teach the people naming hurricanes how to name stuff.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-09-15T00:06:59+02:00
My cat's gonna be homeless unless he comes up with something funny to post on You Tube.

Funny(3)
Posted 2014-09-14T23:59:45+02:00
Ladies, wonder if he's busy or ignoring your texts? Offer to send nudes. If he instantly responds, he was totally ignoring you before.

Epic(6)
Posted 2014-09-14T05:58:24+02:00
People say circumcision dosen't hurt. I was circumcised when I was born and I couldn't walk for nearly a year.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

This one has been Way over Posted.

Comment by Anonymous

Exactly. If you have time to scroll through 1251 pages of other people's statuses, then you have time to think up your own.

Comment by Anonymous

What status posted here hasn't been posted before?

Comment by Anonymous

This is old....it's been posted here before.

Comment by Anonymous

And you are still shitting yourself every day, poor bastard

Posted 2014-09-14T05:57:31+02:00
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 3.) prisoner of war beard 4.) homeless person beard 5.) wizard beard

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-09-14T05:55:09+02:00
I go into Best Buy and ask "Where are your most expensive yet least guarded items?" Then someone is always nearby when I have questions.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-09-14T05:54:12+02:00
Idea to improve NASCAR: Take half of the drivers and have them drive the other direction. I'd watch that shit in a heartbeat.

Funny(2)

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