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Posted 2013-05-22T18:48:12+02:00
Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer just read some of your Tumblr's and she wants her billion dollars back.

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Posted 2013-05-22T18:34:54+02:00
Somewhere in America, the 2040 President of the United States just took a selfie.

-1(0)
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Posted by Try2stopme 2013-05-22T17:13:35+02:00
Marriage is grand; divorce, a hundred grand.

Get a Life(2)
110
Posted 2013-05-22T17:12:36+02:00
Really had my heart set on waking up rich today.

Get a Life(2)
111
Comment by Anonymous

Try doing something to earn it.

Posted 2013-05-22T14:27:45+02:00
"Okay class, today we are going to play a game. When I say a fruit, you run to the right side of the court. And when I say a colour, you run to the left side of the court. Got it?" "Got it." "Okay... Ready, set... ORANGE!"

Get a Life(3)
531
Comment by Anonymous

Ready, set...DON'T LAUGH!

Posted 2013-05-22T06:19:35+02:00
The best thing about telepathy is.. I know, right!

Funny(2)
410
Posted 2013-05-22T06:18:52+02:00
Look, it's not you.... Its DiGiorno

Get a Life(1)
020
Posted 2013-05-22T06:18:06+02:00
Just ate a whole bag of chips, but it was "reduced fat" so basically it was like going to the gym.

Funny(1)
611
Comment by Anonymous

You just masturbated to the Teletubbies. So basically, it was like child pornography.

Posted 2013-05-22T03:06:17+02:00
I'm in the awkward time period between not wanting to have pants on, and having to wait for the pizza guy right now...

Funny(2)
310
Posted 2013-05-21T21:46:04+02:00
Regardless of how much time you think you waste, just know that someone created a very detailed Wikipedia page for Grumpy Cat.

Get a Life(2)
1381
Comment by Anonymous

Really? I thought it was fucking her sister...

Posted 2013-05-21T21:35:00+02:00
Mosquitoes: giving you a reason to slap people in the face since the start of mankind.

Get a Life(3)
990
Posted 2013-05-21T21:21:51+02:00
Didn't wake up in a new Bugatti. Tomorrows a new day though. Never lose faith. Never give up.

Get a Life(2)
4212
Comment by Anonymous

Haha u suck

Comment by Anonymous

I know this shit is old cuz I stole it from here 2 weeks ago. wtf

Posted 2013-05-21T21:20:06+02:00
My Tupperware lids and single socks are chilling somewhere laughing at me. Assholes

Funny(4)
3940
Posted 2013-05-21T21:17:59+02:00
Strength doesn't come from what you can do. It comes from overcoming the things you once thought you couldn't.

Get a Life(2)
1340
Posted 2013-05-21T21:05:08+02:00
Every time you hear a Pitbull song, you lose 2 days off your life expectancy.

Get a Life(2)
670
Posted 2013-05-21T20:13:19+02:00
Be more spontaneous, combust.

Get a Life(2)
880
Posted 2013-05-21T19:59:22+02:00
I've been waiting to say "Xbox, Show Fantasy" my entire life, but fantasy sports wasn't what I had in mind.

Get a Life(2)
280
Posted 2013-05-21T19:58:20+02:00
This world is not going to make any progress until we stop perpetuating the belief that "paper" beats "rock."

Funny(2)
1220
Posted 2013-05-21T19:46:11+02:00
This XBox One demo should also explain how to best quit your job, break up with your girlfriend and heal bedsores.

Epic(2)
1160
Posted 2013-05-21T19:43:29+02:00
SLEEP IN OR DIE TRYING

Fail(3)
260
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