Get A Life
10 months 14 minutes 25 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
10 months 14 minutes 48 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
10 months 26 minutes 27 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
10 months 27 minutes 41 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
10 months 29 minutes 26 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
10 months 29 minutes 45 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
10 months 29 minutes 57 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
10 months 32 minutes 13 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
10 months 34 minutes 18 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
10 months 36 minutes 4 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
10 months 36 minutes 12 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
10 months 37 minutes 10 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
10 months 37 minutes 40 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
10 months 40 minutes 14 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
10 months 41 minutes 56 seconds ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
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