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Posted 2016-05-30T16:31:44-06:00
Cupcakes are amazing, because holding a full size cake up to your face isn't socially acceptable for some reason.

-1(0)
Posted 2016-05-30T16:30:36-06:00
When I was little we didn't have emojis. We had to put smiley face stickers on handwritten letters like goddamned savages.

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Posted 2016-05-30T16:17:48-06:00
If you can go to the gym without telling people on the Internet, you are instantly hired by the CIA

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Posted 2016-05-30T16:15:13-06:00
Damn girl, are you a magnet? Cos I was attracted to you until you turned around.

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Posted 2016-05-30T16:10:37-06:00
Probably the coolest part about elections is being scared all of the time

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Posted 2016-05-30T16:05:27-06:00
Were Timon and Pumbaa the first interracial gay couple in a Disney film?

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Posted 2016-05-30T16:05:11-06:00
I salute brave men & women who make & made the ultimate sacrifice of defending our country.

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Posted 2016-05-27T10:31:32-06:00
You never really know if you're over someone until you're in the car and they're in the crosswalk

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Posted 2016-05-26T19:11:08-06:00
Make sure you get really really mad at people on the internet today. It's important.

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Posted 2016-05-26T19:10:12-06:00
I'd like to punch the guy that made cap'n crunch right in the roof of his mouth.

-1(0)
Posted 2016-05-26T19:07:45-06:00
Millennial fairy tales: Snow White & the 💯 dwarfs, Beauty and the fleek, Goldie Bae & the bear fam, & Lit af in wonderland.

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-05-26T19:03:31-06:00
Me as a news anchor: good evening, there’s a bunch of assholes everywhere [credits begin to roll]

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-05-26T19:00:20-06:00
How have you all not run out of Throwback Thursday pictures by now? My elementary school took more pictures of me than my parents did.

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-05-26T18:55:48-06:00
18 is TOO young to get married! You can't even buy booze at 18! If you can't buy booze, how the hell are you gonna make a marriage work?!?

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-05-24T15:15:42-06:00
I'd be super embarrassed if people saw my google history but only because its all words I should really know how to spell by now

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Stupid, yes. Google corrects spelling!

Posted 2016-05-24T15:04:17-06:00
Rap videos are completely unrealistic. Nobody has that many friends

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Niggers are all related. Thats why they all look alike

Comment by Anonymous

You would if you were rich.

Posted 2016-05-24T15:01:21-06:00
Grandparents stayed married 50 years cause Grandma couldn't text "What are you doing?" "Where are you?" & "Why are you ignoring me?" all day

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-05-24T14:58:16-06:00
Porn is so unrealistic, I just took a shower with my girlfriend & stood in the corner freezing for 20 minutes handing her different shampoos

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

That's because her other BF's cock is bigger than yours so she has no need of you other than to hand her shampoo.

Posted 2016-05-24T14:52:01-06:00
With all the money trump has he could've been batman. he literally could've been batman and he gave it up to be...whatever he is

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

He is beating bitchwoman but even her sidekick robbin is too.

Comment by Anonymous

He is a bitchman.What about that

Comment by Anonymous

A cowardly douchebag?

Posted 2016-05-24T14:51:25-06:00
I hate when my phone corrects "hood morning" to good morning. Maybe I meant hood morning. Maybe some thug shit has happened today.

Funny(1)

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