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Posted 2014-11-26T23:05:20+01:00
Eating turkey the day before Thanksgiving is the easiest way to let people know you're a psychopath.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-26T23:02:49+01:00
The word "Fat" just looks like someone took a bite out of the word "Eat"

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-26T19:09:55+01:00
Just like ever year: Lamborghini mercy, don't twitpic your turkey.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-26T19:02:48+01:00
I pledge allegiance to keepin it fuckin real

Win(1)
Posted 2014-11-26T19:00:47+01:00
To whoever finds the $20 I dropped on campus: spend it on alcohol. It's what I would have wanted.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-26T18:59:24+01:00
If you listen to 10 Drake songs after 11pm, he'll come tuck you in.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-11-26T16:43:32+01:00
If only there was a way to voice a highly uneducated opinion to thousands of people on a regular basis

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Become president

Posted 2014-11-26T16:40:33+01:00
People on the right only use the word "thug" to describe black men who've done something heinous like shoplifting or being elected president

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I like niggers. Everyone should have at least one as a pet.

Comment by Anonymous

Two comments below.....bitter much?

Comment by Anonymous

thats racist....

Comment by Anonymous

You are a fucking idiot. Regardless of what he took, he committed a robbery, and when the police told him to get on the ground he bum rushed them (and I say bum for good reason), and then he was dumb enough to try to take the cop's gun, and as a result, his useless cocksucking ass got shot, just like he deserved. And you dumb motherfuckers who are rioting and looting and burning down buildings are the reason why NO cop (black or white) hesitate to shoot you dumb fucking monkeys, because that is what you are, uneducated, dumb fucking primates.

Posted 2014-11-26T16:40:07+01:00
I couldn't bring myself to kill my own turkey so I put baggy pants and a hoodie on one and a cop shot it for me

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-26T16:39:55+01:00
Newark sounding so similar to New York is like if there was a guy named Michael Jirdan on the Bulls. And he averaged 2.3 ppg.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T21:53:44+01:00
First world problems: I couldn't hear the TV so I had to stop eating chips.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T21:51:31+01:00
"I don't watch TV" proudly says a person who spends 8 hours a day on the internet.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:55:48+01:00
It's time to admit that as a species, we are just not ready for 4-way stops

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

As recently as last month. You shouldn't drive.

Comment by Anonymous

But 4 time posts on statusstalker are greeaaatt...

Posted 2014-11-25T04:54:59+01:00
Have you tried insulting each other until the romance comes back?

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:47:16+01:00
You never bring your mouth to a banana. Bring the banana to your mouth.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

yes i have.they were all yummy and juicy

Comment by Anonymous

I bet you have had many bananas dude.

Posted 2014-11-25T04:46:38+01:00
Do people who exercise not know about ice cream and Netflix?

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Tell that to all the dumb fucks who looted and rioted last night due to finding out the definition of truth. HELL YEAH AND FUCK YOU!!

Comment by Anonymous

not the ones who want to live longer than you.

Comment by Anonymous

Yes they do they just make a life choice to not be an overweight out of shape piece of shit.

Posted 2014-11-25T04:43:42+01:00
Some people say I'm narcissistic. Anyway, enough about them.

Epic(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:42:40+01:00
Your message was sent, received, seen, ignored, screen captured, sent to friends and ridiculed.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:41:50+01:00
Love is telling someone to go to hell and worrying about them getting there safely.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-11-25T04:40:20+01:00
Thought I saw my ex walking down the street but she wasn't busy sucking someone else's cock so it probably wasn't her.

Epic(1)

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