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Posted 2016-05-16T18:10:39-06:00
Hey suns wearing sunglasses: that's not going to help, stupid. Think about it.

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:41:47-06:00
They should have warning label pictures on booze like they do cigarettes. A picture of a guy being arrested with his dick out.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:40:56-06:00
My friends profile pictures makes it look like I'm friends with 390 toddlers.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

So now i deleted the majority of 'em and have 90 now

Posted 2016-05-13T16:38:40-06:00
Someday, once humans are extinct, I hope whatever species rules Earth makes chicken nuggets in the shape of us like we did for dinosaurs.

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

Unless it's the chickens.. Because that'd be just creepy

Posted 2016-05-13T16:38:17-06:00
Just changed my wireless network name in my apartment to "I can hear you having sex through the ceiling and it sounds mediocre."

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:37:27-06:00
Whenever I pick my Grandma up from the airport, I leave my left blinker on during the entire drive so she feels more comfortable.

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:36:18-06:00
Him: "I love you." Her: "Why?" - girls turning a pleasant situation into an annoying one.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Comment by Anonymous

Me: Not funny in the slightest.

Comment by Anonymous

This is not sexist, its Factist. fucking cunts

Comment by Anonymous

Your fault for talking to her to begin with.

Posted 2016-05-13T16:35:30-06:00
Stages of beard length: 1.) sexy stubble 2.) sea captain beard 2.) prisoner of war beard 3.) homeless person beard 4.) wizard beard

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

why are there 2 number 2s..... is noone bothering to check for typos here?

Posted 2016-05-13T16:34:18-06:00
[spins in chair] AH MR. BOND, I'VE BEEN [chair spins too far and I have to wait for it to go around again] EXPECTING YOU

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:32:03-06:00
Imagine a fish coming into your home wearing a mask and watching you eat breakfast bc that's what snorkeling is

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:30:42-06:00
I hate when the other guy goes for a handshake and I go for an open-mouth kiss and oh great now I probably didn't get this job

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:28:19-06:00
Every time I swipe my credit card, my mind’s telling me no but my body’s telling me YES

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:27:13-06:00
A new day : the possibilities, endless. the funds, insufficient.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-05-13T16:25:06-06:00
Hey idiots, you've been in bathrooms with transgender people YOUR WHOLE LIVES!

Get a Life(5)
Comment by Anonymous

A transgender person doesnt want you... no one wants you.

Comment by Anonymous

pretty sure i havent been in the locker rooms or shower rooms with them though. forgetting that part?

Posted 2016-05-12T19:49:28-06:00
An all-female Ghostbusters? What's next, an all-male hierarchy perpetuated throughout thousands of years of recorded history?

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

So glad the quality of the posts has not suffered in 4 months of neglect.

Posted 2016-05-12T19:48:20-06:00
Driving a PT Cruiser says, "I made a 25 thousand dollar mistake in 2002."

Win(1)
Posted 2016-05-12T19:48:04-06:00
Did you know namaste is an ancient word meaning, "I'm a rich white housewife"?

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-05-12T19:47:30-06:00
The only people I respect in life are people at sporting events who don't give a shit they're on the Jumbotron.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-05-12T19:46:29-06:00
It's never your successful friends posting the inspirational quotes.

Epic(1)
Posted 2016-05-12T19:41:34-06:00
It's cool how our pinky finger evolved into a cell phone stand.

Win(1)

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