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Posted 2015-07-20T03:55:14+02:00
I would rather have a life full of scars than one full of fear.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Shut up emo bitch!

Posted 2015-07-20T03:47:46+02:00
Your honeymoon can't be going that great if you're incessantly instagramming photos of it

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:54:23+02:00
I get a little nervous eating cucumber in a single woman's home.

Funny(3)
Comment by Anonymous

I bet you have no problem eating it in a single guys home.

Posted 2015-07-16T06:53:37+02:00
Oh yeah!! Well, if smoking weed destroys your short-term memory, then what does smoking weed do?

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

It doesn't actually 'destroy' short-term memory, rather temporarily impedes (and not in everyone). Studies have proven that whatever was 'lost' in short-term is eventually retained once the initial euphoria wears of. Just Say KNOW!

Posted 2015-07-16T06:52:15+02:00
I have two dance moves: 1) I didn't drink enough 2) I drank way too much

Epic(4)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:50:16+02:00
I used to be a man trapped inside a woman's body. And things got even more complicated after I was born.

Epic(5)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:47:31+02:00
I don't even care if it's a scam. Just the thought that a Nigerian prince took the time to write me a personal note has really made my day.

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:47:04+02:00
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they've been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what's really going on

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

And now it is not, that is odd.

Comment by Anonymous

now its even... and this is not just a coincidence

Comment by Anonymous

LOL... awesome irony in this post

Posted 2015-07-16T06:43:02+02:00
Decided to make a life altering decision today.... When I think of it I'll let you know

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:27:33+02:00
The point of no return sounds like a fun vacation spot.

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:25:25+02:00
Women are not to be figured out or understood. They are to be loved and accepted.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Written like a true mangina... the irony is women do not respect manginas

Comment by Anonymous

ffs get over her already

Comment by Anonymous

Women are to be held to account for the stupid shit they say and do just like men. I thank you.

Comment by Anonymous

Women understand women and they hate each other.

Posted 2015-07-16T06:24:26+02:00
When a door closes, you fucking open it again because it's a door and that's how they work.

Epic(3)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:23:04+02:00
There's no manly way to put on chap stick. I usually just make a mean face and hum Tupac songs.

Funny(4)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:21:21+02:00
Me: If you stop talking right now, I'll give you a thousand dollars. Her: Really? Me: You just couldn't fucking do it, could you?

Funny(4)
Posted 2015-07-16T06:20:23+02:00
Dyslexic guy robbing a bank :"Air in the hands , mother stickers" "This is a fuck up"!!

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

It doesn't affect your speech

Posted 2015-07-16T06:18:28+02:00
You should be sober when you decide to get married, but drunk every minute after that.

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-07-16T00:54:56+02:00
My wife was shocked when she found out I switched her vibrator with a taser.

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Your wife must be dumb, assfuck!

Comment by Anonymous

Your wife must be dumb as fuck!

Comment by Anonymous

And why is your sister so stupid that she is not able to tell the difference between a taser and a vibrator? Probably a good thing she chooses the vibrator over you so no kids will result from your low IQ family.

Comment by Anonymous

why does your wife need vibrator? lil dick having asss nikka

Posted 2015-07-14T03:03:30+02:00
When I grow up I want to be a little kid.

Win(6)
Posted by 667938 2015-07-12T16:46:30+02:00
You never know how many people you dislike until you have to name your child.

Epic(6)
Posted 2015-07-11T17:40:27+02:00
I can't wait for married gay dudes to start referring to their spouse as The Old Balls and Chain

Fail(3)
Comment by Anonymous

V and you were here to do something different Einstein?

Comment by Anonymous

People creep other sites and repost as their own

Comment by Anonymous

This status is gay.

Comment by Anonymous

FUCK ALL OF YOUR MOMS!

Comment by Anonymous

This was posted like 2 weeks ago. Do you just choose the ones you like and re-post?

Comment by Anonymous

So you must be his Old Balls in Chain huh

Comment by Anonymous

Your mouth sucks a lot of cock!

Comment by Anonymous

Wow!!! This site truly sucks!


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