Funny Epic Win Get A Life Fail Share
Starting to think this 30 minute documentary about the amazing Shark vacuum cleaner might be a commercial.
There 492 billionaires in the United States, and not one of those goddamned losers has decided to become Batman.
There's always that last setting on your windshield wipers that makes you go "damn, calm the fuck down!"
I would unblock you but then I'd be admitting I'd made a mistake and that's just not my thing.
On the internet, you have a better chance of surviving The Oregon Trail than a trip to WebMD!
A threesome? No thanks, if I wanted to disappoint two people at once I'd go out to dinner with my parents.
In a parallel universe, the internet masturbates to you.
Roses are red, violets are purple! They are fucking purple!
So you're saying that "Mario Brothers" implies that Luigi's name is Luigi Mario and Mario's name is Mario Mario?
When life gives you lemons. Life probably stole those lemons from some nice old lady. Because life is an asshole.
When you eat dinosaur shaped chicken nuggets, you have to make dinosaur roars before eating. Dems the rules
I'm proud to announce that I'm still the undefeated champion at racing with drivers who don't know we're racing.
We all agree Tom Hanks fucked the shit out of Wilson right?
Calm the fuck down, people younger than me who have their shit together.
Some are born crazy, some achieve craziness, and some have craziness thrust upon them.
I'm ready to be carried now, Jesus.
I hate driving someone else's car cause I don't know where they put their boogers.
It's all fun and games until they reply to your text with a phone call
Really Google Autocomplete?
You honestly think I want to search for "hardcore poem"?
Just a bae, just an ordinary bae.
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Facebook Addict Intervention Parody