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Posted 9 months 6 days 8 hours 52 minutes 11 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
Epic(2)
11 14
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 3 minutes 50 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
Epic(2)
8 14
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 6 minutes 49 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
Epic(2)
7 16
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 7 minutes 8 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
Epic(2)
4 17
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 7 minutes 20 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
Epic(2)
5 14
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 9 minutes 36 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
Epic(1)
6 18
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 11 minutes 41 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
Epic(2)
13 8
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 13 minutes 27 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
Epic(2)
7 14
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 14 minutes 33 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
Epic(2)
7 11
Posted 9 months 6 days 9 hours 17 minutes 37 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
Epic(1)
7 11