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Posted 2015-05-25T23:09:37+02:00
To avoid public humiliation, remember the "one pair of skinny jeans per couple" rule.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

I love people telling me how to look and dress

Comment by Anonymous

You 2 guys should just take turns so neither queen will have to feel left out.

Posted 2015-05-25T23:08:38+02:00
Please don't ruin your friend's life by getting married and living happily ever after.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

That douche ruined his own life all by himself.

Posted 2015-05-25T23:08:27+02:00
Thanks for nothing autocorrect, I'm never gonna get chicks being a "homeless romantic".

Win(1)
Posted 2015-05-25T23:07:42+02:00
Good things come to those who wait, 2-5 business days.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-05-25T23:04:41+02:00
Whenever my phone rings I'm like "omg! Why is this happening to me!"

Fail(1)
Posted 2015-05-25T22:58:35+02:00
Don't worry about the grass on the other side. It's not your grass.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-05-24T15:24:55+02:00
When a woman makes eye contact with me across the bar and likes me, I wish a sax would start playing like in the movies to alert me to this.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-05-24T15:24:14+02:00
My mixtape comes with a pair of oven mitts, just so you can handle it.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Go stand in the corner.

Posted 2015-05-24T00:06:11+02:00
Never seen anyone jogging and smiling, so that's all I need to know about that.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-05-22T07:59:01+02:00
There's only one person you're guaranteed to spend the rest of your life with... yourself. Don't live the rest of your life with an asshole.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Spoken like a true virgin!

Comment by Anonymous

The dreams of little boys on here.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuck her right in the pussy

Comment by Anonymous

Live with deez nutz bitch!

Posted 2015-05-22T07:55:50+02:00
I go to porn sites and write in the comment section, "Why are you doin this? Your father and I are so sad. Please come home!"

Funny(4)
Comment by Anonymous

V If you read it one more time.. what?

Comment by Anonymous

If I read this ONE.....MORE......TIME!!!

Comment by Anonymous

👇😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Comment by Anonymous

V You have been seeing it because he puts it on the gay men porn sites.

Comment by Anonymous

I've been seeing this one for years.............

Posted 2015-05-22T07:54:36+02:00
I wouldn't call it a super power but I have the ability to form an opinion and then keep it to myself.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

If you smiled then you've gots to be gay!

Comment by Anonymous

V I hate that I smiled when I read the comment, but I did

Comment by Anonymous

I have the ability to form deez nutz in your mouth bitch!

Posted 2015-05-20T07:29:30+02:00
One of the benefits of eating healthier is that you never have to ask questions like, "Who ate my kale?"

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

That's such an awesome response. Thank you, commenter #1!

Comment by Anonymous

One of the drawbacks is that you have to tell everyone about it.

Posted 2015-05-20T07:29:14+02:00
I know karate and tons of other words.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

V Not as crazy as I drove your sister last night.

Comment by Anonymous

VVVVVVVVVVV There is a ton of V's.... driving you crazy yet?

Comment by Anonymous

VV what do you need four V's for? there's only one commenter below you

Comment by Anonymous

v I think they only missed one word of the joke. that word being: Japanese

Comment by Anonymous

VVVV LOL! Hey person who posted this... you forgot half of the joke.

Comment by Anonymous

You might have a chance in a battle with Obama.

Posted 2015-05-20T07:22:35+02:00
If you don't have to work for it, you'll never appreciate it. If you don't appreciate it, you'll never work for it.

Win(1)
Posted 2015-05-20T07:17:38+02:00
If Satan ever loses his hair, there'll be hell toupee

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-05-20T07:16:41+02:00
"Hot singles in your area want nothing to do with you." -Honest spam

Funny(2)
Posted 2015-05-20T07:09:03+02:00
Billion dollar idea. A smoke detector that shuts off when you yell "I'm just cooking!"

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

/ ..."looks stupid"?? I love it when the grammer spammers come on here trying to act all intelligent. Epic Failure. Bwahahaha.

Comment by Anonymous

Best one, a detector that corrects your spelling mistakes before you post online and looks stupid.

Comment by Anonymous

T better yet a smoke detector that puts the fire on you neighbors house.

Comment by Anonymous

Just Kidding: Kitchen Edition.

Posted 2015-05-20T07:02:38+02:00
You should be required to read a book for every 10 selfies you take.

Funny(3)
Posted 2015-05-20T02:36:35+02:00
It's ironic that cigarette breaks are OK to take but masturbation breaks at work we'll get you fired. What's worse for your health?

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

vv The first two comments were by me. *trollface*

Comment by Anonymous

will not we'll (we will)

Comment by Anonymous

I care. And the caps lock key is on the left hand side of your keyboard.

Comment by Anonymous

V HOW MANY TIMES NO ONE CARRRRESSSSSS

Comment by Anonymous

*your - that guy from Bolivar.


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