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Posted 2015-04-02T01:33:50+02:00
If you were as sexually awesome as you say, you'd be doing it instead of bragging about your skills to strangers.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

that's so funny, I forgot to fuck your mom

Posted 2015-04-02T01:32:48+02:00
My point of view is neither right or wrong. However, it's educated, relevant, and born of individual thinking. So go fuck yourself.

-1(0)
Posted 2015-04-02T01:31:51+02:00
I'm having trouble telling if it's killing me or making me stronger

-1(0)
Posted 2015-04-02T01:30:04+02:00
Why was the movie called Jaws ? it was one shark. should have been called Jaw

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Unlike your mother the shark had teeth in the upper and lower jaw.

Posted 2015-04-02T01:29:15+02:00
April fool's day is a fake holiday made up by the April fool companies to sell more April fool

-1(0)
Posted 2015-04-02T01:28:15+02:00
April Fools Day! The one day major news outlets will openly lie to you, instead of doing it secretly!

-1(0)
Posted 2015-04-01T17:27:27+02:00
If the cops stop you today, just slow down, smile and say "well played officer but you can't fool me today" then drive off.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Do you need anyone to send you bail money?

Posted 2015-04-01T17:25:36+02:00
Spare me the fake pregnancy, proposal and life altering announcements.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-04-01T08:16:32+02:00
What's wrong with our society? We can get a cow to jump over the moon but we can't accept the love between a dish and a spoon?

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2015-04-01T08:14:53+02:00
When plastic bags become currency, I will be king.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

And when stupidity becomes gold you will be the richest man in the world.

Posted 2015-04-01T08:14:04+02:00
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA ARE TURNING DOWN THE THERMOSTAT WITHOUT NEGOTIATING WITH ANYONE

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-01T08:10:29+02:00
I only like clicky pens when I am the clicker.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-04-01T07:59:20+02:00
Kangaroos hop because they cant move their legs independently damn 99 problems but a hop ain't one

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2015-04-01T07:49:04+02:00
Today is the worst day to die.

Epic(1)
Posted 2015-04-01T07:43:51+02:00
Trust no one. Especially today.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-03-31T19:11:52+02:00
If I could ask Jay Z one question, it would have to be 'where the fuck were you driving with the speed limit of 54?'

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-03-31T19:09:11+02:00
It's gorgeous outside. I think I'll take a nap.

Funny(1)
Posted 2015-03-31T19:05:57+02:00
Do you even stargaze bro?

Fail(1)
Posted 2015-03-30T06:53:15+02:00
It's funny how "You're so funny" turns into "You think everything's a fucking joke" in just 3 months...

Epic(2)
Comment by Anonymous

I am too busy fucking your mom. Since you have no one who will fuck you, you tell him.

Comment by Anonymous

V Then tell your dad to stop, fucking homo V

Comment by Anonymous

Nobody wants to be with a clown.

Posted 2015-03-30T06:52:58+02:00
I'm terribly conflicted when people I hate from work, bring cupcakes.

Funny(2)
Comment by Anonymous

V There isn't a douche big enough to clean your mother's filthy gap.

Comment by Anonymous

And then one of the internet's biggest douche canoes just has to run his cock sucking hole.

Comment by Anonymous

And two of the most finest Captain Obvious's have arrived!!

Comment by Anonymous

No all of these statuses are 110% original. Who would ever steal something from someone on the internet?

Comment by Anonymous

Are you stealing statuses off TJ's Home? I swear I just was reading these top two statuses 5 min ago! Boring!!


Total Number of Statuses:26330

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