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Posted 2014-10-21T20:06:18+02:00
Celery is 95% water and 100% not pizza.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T20:05:40+02:00
I don't get it. EVERYTHING we do is for money. Why does society condemn it for sex? DAD: Um, okay. Maybe someone ELSE wants to say grace?

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T20:04:36+02:00
Let's drink till this day makes some sort of sense.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T20:00:09+02:00
Arguing with a troll online is like trying to teach a goat to drive. No one's happy & your car is ruined & it's still a goat.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T17:41:03+02:00
Everyone has fitness goals and I'm over here like, if I burn this many calories I can eat a whole pizza.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:45:47+02:00
I'm starting to think we as a society may be trying to do too much with the Dorito.

-1(0)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:24:03+02:00
Married sext: I'm not wearing any underwear, because you never put the fucking laundry in the dryer like I asked you to 100 times

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:19:31+02:00
Conspiracy theorists are all so dumb that I suspect they've been planted by a secret organization to distract us from what's really going on

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:16:45+02:00
I tried being modest once, as expected I was fucking amazing at it.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:14:45+02:00
CAPS LOCK? DO YOU EVEN SHIFT BRO?

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:14:31+02:00
Siri, where do babies come from?

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:13:00+02:00
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:11:20+02:00
Super Mario Bros before hoes.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:09:37+02:00
I'm confident but not old dude in the gym changing room confident.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T16:08:16+02:00
I act like Pacman at parties. I walk around the room eating everything in site and avoiding everyone.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T15:59:51+02:00
Calm the fuck down guy with the Ed Hardy steering wheel cover, save some pussy for the rest of us.

Funny(2)
Posted 2014-10-21T15:59:33+02:00
FOX NEWS: NO NEW EBOLA VICTIMS IS CONCRETE PROOF OBAMA IS COVERING UP NEW EBOLA VICTIMS

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

REAL NEWS: THIS POSTS PROVES YOU ARE A DUMBASS

Posted 2014-10-21T15:58:33+02:00
I made a ton of huge mistakes at work today, but hey; that's all part of being a tattoo artist.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T15:58:09+02:00
I want to commit the perfect murder but I'm worried it might be too late to establish a career in sports.

Funny(1)
Posted 2014-10-21T02:52:38+02:00
Everyday you're hustlin? EVERY day? Settle down Rick Ross. Everybody takes a day off here and there.

Funny(1)

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