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Posted 2014-07-31T23:02:23+02:00
Dating someone solely on their looks is shallow. Consider other things such as how much money they have.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Who said anything about dating them. Just fuck 'em and leave 'em.

Posted 2014-07-31T22:56:12+02:00
If you beat your dad at arm wrestling legally he has to start calling you dad

Win(1)
Comment by Anonymous

V ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮

Comment by Anonymous

I thought it was he had to start giving you hand jobs?

Posted 2014-07-31T22:49:23+02:00
"We're pregnant!" -people who don't understand science

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

This status was brought to you by people who don't understand expressions.

Posted 2014-07-31T22:49:02+02:00
A pineapple is also the same as 3.14 neapples.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

However, a pineapple is never the same after your mother shoves it in her fat, hairy, stinky twat.

Posted 2014-07-31T22:47:27+02:00
Leonardo DiCaprio cheering on Orlando Bloom as he tried to punch Justin Bieber is enough for him to earn his Oscar in my books.

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

vv I think he's mad that the batteries went dead in that dildo he shoved up his ass.

Comment by Anonymous

v. And the rest of us are just going to guess that you have no friends and no life so you spend your time commenting on status post. Loser!

Comment by Anonymous

I'm just gonna guess and say you don't own any books, just like the rest of the fuckin' retards.

Posted 2014-07-31T22:41:52+02:00
Honey I Told The Kids About The Wire It's Such A Good Show

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Hands down the funniest FUCKIN' STATUS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!! Twat.

Posted 2014-07-31T22:41:34+02:00
For a gremlin Lil Wayne has done pretty well for himself

-1(0)
Comment by Anonymous

V ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮

Comment by Anonymous

For a cunt, you're still pretty stupid.

Posted 2014-07-31T20:07:17+02:00
Instagram should do the same with the number of photo tries that this website should do with the statuses that didn't make it.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

V ╭∩╮(-_-)╭∩╮

Comment by Anonymous

And you should go back to school and learn what the rest of us did the first time about reading and writing specifically sentence construction then maybe you wouldn't be such a fuckin' retard...?

Posted by Ephrem707 2014-07-30T19:29:13+02:00
If I have a daughter, I hope she's one of those ugly girls who ends up being beautiful, but only after she turns 18.

Funny(0)
Comment by Anonymous

Banging your daughter is still gross no matter what age, sick bastard.

Posted 2014-07-30T07:01:26+02:00
No means no! Unless she's dyslexic; then it's on!

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Except dyslexic people don't speak backwards, moron.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:40:16+02:00
I don't think the person who invented the rules for Rock Paper Scissors understood how rocks, paper or words worked.

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

I don't believe you know how jokes work.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:39:17+02:00
My life is the intersection between having too much caffeine and constantly yawning.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

You sound like a fag.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:38:31+02:00
Being a vegetarian is hard at first but after a month or so you get used to telling everyone you're a vegetarian.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

You can tell by looking at them and how bad their skin is. Just like a meth head.

Comment by Anonymous

How do you know someone's a vegetarian? Wait 5mins. and they'll remind you.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:33:47+02:00
I've made some pretty bad choices in life but I have to admit, having orange juice with Oreos was the worst.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Sweet, that means you're down for another bukkake.

Comment by Anonymous

Actually the original comment says nothing about parents hating. It says it was their biggest mistake to have the OP. But often when brother and sister marry mistakes happen.

Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Comment by Anonymous

Your obsession for sucking your father's dick or having sex with your mother makes me worried for you.

Comment by Anonymous

Nope, I was pretty sure you would have some sort of hateful response so it is pointing in the right direction.

Comment by Anonymous

V "V" or "v" is a down carrot. What someone too stupid to use one thinks is of no concern to me. You may go back to sucking your dads cock now.

Comment by Anonymous

^your comments about people's parents hating them has run its course. Now, it just makes me feel sorry for you.

Comment by Anonymous

Your parents have you beat, they chose to have you.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:30:58+02:00
How I feel when you complain about your boyfriend to me is how Yahoo feels when people use them to search for Google's homepage.

Epic(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Go stuff your head in your mother's cunt.

Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Comment by Anonymous

Maybe, but Yahoo isn't a bitch about it.

Posted 2014-07-30T02:27:46+02:00
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

v He probably would but he's not supposed to take advice from douche bags on the internet.

Comment by Anonymous

V Nobody cares, not even your mom. So fuck off & go back to where you came from & I don't mean running down your daddy's lip while he eats your moms hairy bush.

Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Posted 2014-07-30T02:19:37+02:00
Relationships are basically an emotional game of Jenga.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Is that why all you fuckin' pussies kill yourselves after you've been dumped?

Comment by Anonymous

FUNNYSTATUS.COM YOU FUCKING COPY CAT...

Posted 2014-07-29T19:54:03+02:00
One time I looked up from my phone, it was horrifying! Don't do it guys.

Fail(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Not as horrifying as when I looked down at your toothless grammy gumming my balls.

Comment by Anonymous

Mirrors can be anywhere.

Posted 2014-07-29T19:50:27+02:00
I'd like to thanks my legs for supporting me, my arms for always being at the side, and my fingers cause I can usually count on them.

Funny(1)
Comment by Anonymous

Being BY your side, not AT THE side...

Comment by Anonymous

And the sidewalks for keeping you off the streets. Gosh so inconsiderate

Posted by Masterkash 2014-07-29T05:57:03+02:00
You ever read a status, and you're like, 'what a fucking retard' and then you realize you're on your own page?

Get a Life(1)
Comment by Anonymous

No, that's never happened. Probably has never happened unless someone is suffering from multiple personality disorder


Total Number of Statuses:24664

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