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Posted 2016-01-10T17:42:31-07:00
I wish "friends with benefits" meant your friends paid all of your bills.

Funny(7)
Comment by Anonymous

Someone start a new site

Comment by Anonymous

Bill Clinton is getting $12 million for his memoirs. His wife, Hillary got $8 million for hers. That’s $20 million for memories from two people who for eight years repeatedly testified under oath, that they couldn’t remember anything.

Comment by Anonymous

So, I was walking in downtown New York when I saw that there was a "Muslim Bookstore." I was wondering what exactly was in a Muslim bookstore, so I went in. As I was wandering around taking a look, the clerk stopped me and asked if he could help me. I imagine I didn't look like his normal clientel, so I asked, “Do you have a copy of Donald Trump's book on his U.S. Immigration Policy regarding Muslims and illegal Mexicans?" The clerk said, "Fuck off, get out and stay out!" I said, "Yes, that's the one. Do you have it in paperback?”

Comment by Anonymous

I have stopped by to see all my children posting on here. Looks good, carry on children.

Comment by Anonymous

Don't mind me, just an innocent comment passing through looking for funny statuses.

Comment by Anonymous

Everyone knows to hate the goat fucking muslims. Quit hating on each other. Oh yeah, fuck Mexicans too.

Comment by Anonymous

V You're both fucking pussies.

Comment by Anonymous

VV You guys leave Beyonce alone!

Comment by Anonymous

VV says the lying, stealing, raping nigger.

Comment by Anonymous

V You are the best your race has to offer? Faggots would fuck thier sisters? Next time stay in school longer, ignorant cocksucker.

Comment by Anonymous

Fuck white people. Inbred, sister fucking faggots.

Comment by Anonymous

Instead of bitching about the site, start posting new shit on this thread people!

Comment by Anonymous

Donald Trump use to run this site till he ran for election.

Comment by Anonymous

let me take over

Comment by Anonymous

We apologize. The admin of this site has passed away.

Comment by Anonymous

This site sucks asshole now

Comment by Anonymous

ok 13 days! time for new shit so i can seem funny and witty

Posted 2016-01-10T17:33:09-07:00
Why be a star when you could be a galaxy.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:31:49-07:00
I'm having the opposite of sex with the opposite sex.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:31:27-07:00
I don't just flirt with disaster. I give it an orgasm.

Fail(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:30:30-07:00
A thread of hope can hold the weight of the world.

Get a Life(2)
Comment by Anonymous

What the fuck is this horse shit?

Posted 2016-01-10T17:25:46-07:00
Don't think twice when you only live once.

Fail(2)
Comment by Anonymous

Said everyone who died early

Posted 2016-01-10T17:25:03-07:00
She said "I have long hair" but all I heard was "blowjob steering wheel".

Get a Life(6)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:24:28-07:00
The heart is a terrible GPS.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:20:21-07:00
My favorite beer is the next one.

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:20:04-07:00
People in your life may appear closer than they are.

Get a Life(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:16:00-07:00
If you're not eating pussy with the enthusiasm that Pooh Bear has when he face fucks a jar of honey, give it up

Fail(12)
Comment by Anonymous

I am Anonymous

Comment by Anonymous

I am Anonymous

Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:41-07:00
Considering we've produced Miley Cyrus and Kanye West, I'm more surprised other countries haven't built a wall around the U.S.

Funny(3)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:28-07:00
Whenever a wrong number calls me and hangs up I always call em back and tell them it was their loss because I'm really fun to talk to.

Funny(4)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:15:18-07:00
If a Donkey and Zebra ever mate they'd have to call the offspring a Zonkey because Debra is already taken.

Funny(5)
Comment by Anonymous

There actually was a zebra and donkey that mated and they called the baby a zedonk (zee donk)

Comment by Anonymous

Yeah, because Debra was already taken.

Comment by Anonymous

Fun Fact: Donkeys and zebras actually can mate and their offspring is actually called a zonkey

Posted 2016-01-10T17:12:15-07:00
So apparently RSVP'ing back to a wedding invite 'maybe next time' isn't the correct response

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:09:07-07:00
Sorry I missed your wedding, but Netflix just autoplays the next episode now.

Get a Life(1)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:07:27-07:00
Stalker level: I'm stealing your wifi to post this.

Funny(1)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:05:32-07:00
Inventing a fun metal detector. Instead of buzzing, it's going to say "dude, that's so metal."

Get a Life(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:03:53-07:00
I get my hair cut twice a week. Mostly because I love capes.

Funny(2)
Posted 2016-01-10T17:03:09-07:00
If I was ever on Family Feud, I'd guess "your butthole" just so I could hear the host yell "SHOW ME YOUR BUTTHOLE!"

Epic(1)

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