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Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 39 minutes 22 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
Epic(2)
9 4
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 19 minutes 29 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
Epic(1)
8 8
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 19 minutes 52 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
Epic(2)
7 6
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 42 minutes 44 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
Epic(1)
5 4
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 41 minutes 8 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
Epic(1)
5 5
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 47 minutes ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
Epic(1)
4 2
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 45 minutes 18 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
Epic(1)
4 4
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 42 minutes 14 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
Epic(1)
4 6
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 37 minutes 17 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
Epic(1)
4 9
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 35 minutes 1 second ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
Epic(1)
4 6
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 34 minutes 49 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
Epic(1)
4 7
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 34 minutes 30 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
Epic(1)
3 7
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 31 minutes 31 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
Epic(1)
3 7
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 41 minutes 16 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
Epic(1)
11 1
Posted 2 months 4 days 2 hours 32 minutes 45 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
Epic(1)
11 3