Get A Life
10 months 42 minutes 1 second ago
My mind is sponsored by Coffee.
10 months 37 minutes 15 seconds ago
Your typos bring great dishonor to your family
10 months 40 minutes 19 seconds ago
I had another cup of coffee but it still feels like Monday.
10 months 36 minutes 9 seconds ago
I stay woke motherfuckers ‘cause I have terrible insomnia.
10 months 32 minutes 18 seconds ago
If she doesn't get this reference, she's too young for you bro.
10 months 30 minutes 2 seconds ago
A diamond heist, but to steal puppies from pet stores.
10 months 29 minutes 31 seconds ago
When Edgar Allen Poe said “Nevermore”, I felt that.
10 months 37 minutes 45 seconds ago
I wanted to make a joke about eating ass, but it was very tongue-in-cheek...
10 months 29 minutes 50 seconds ago
From 1 to Ray Liotta, how creepy are you
10 months 27 minutes 46 seconds ago
Has anyone tried unplugging the country and plugging it back in
10 months 36 minutes 17 seconds ago
When I say I’m not being sarcastic the sarcasm is implied.
10 months 14 minutes 30 seconds ago
This town's getting on my nerves, gonna blow off some steam by doing a dance routine at the abandoned warehouse.
10 months 34 minutes 23 seconds ago
Sure, sex is great, but have you ever got all green lights on your way home
10 months 14 minutes 53 seconds ago
When they take my driver's license photo I try to look as drunk as possible.
10 months 26 minutes 32 seconds ago
[Second Day As A Kamikaze Pilot] Boss: Can I see you in my office for a second
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